The Bildungsroman That Is Great Expectations

If you looked at that big, ugly word in the title and were already incredibly confused (as I was), here’s what Dictionary.com has to say about it:
“Bildungsroman
[beel-doo ngks-raw-mah-nuh]
1. type of novel concerned with the education, development, and maturing of a young protagonist” (dictionary.com). 
In our case, the novel is Great Expectations by Charles Dickens and our young protagonists are Pip and Estella. Well, I’m not actually sure that Estella counts as a protagonist, but that’s a topic for another blog post.
First, Pip has clearly developed morally, physically, and mentally throughout the novel. In the beginning, we see Pip in the churchyard in the marshes, described as “the small bundle of shivers growing afraid of it all and beginning to cry… I was at the time undersized for my years, and not strong” (Dickens 4). Soon after, he meets the convict, who he refers to as “sir”. He is humble, shy, and  scared. He has no money, and lives with his sister and her husband, a blacksmith named Joe Gargery. Pip does as he’s told and is often criticized by the adults around him, simply for being young. “What is detestable in a pig,” Mr. Wopsle notes, “is more detestable in a boy” (Dickens 26). Later in his life, Pip is summoned to the Satis House of Miss Havisham. There he meets Estella, is influenced by the grandness of the estate and Miss Havisham’s riches, and starts to feel ashamed of his own humble beginnings. When he gets his “expectations” from who we now know as Magwitch, Pip’s life is transformed and he grows ambitious, arrogant, rich, spoiled, and, at a lack for a better word, quite snooty. He even talks to his friend and former mentor, Biddy, “in a virtuously self-asserting manner” (Dickens 275). Now that Pip is in debt, he continues to be arrogant and is trying to find other places to put the blame besides himself. He tells Miss Havisham about that he is “tired of the life I have led, which has very few charms for me” (Dickens 351), as if he has had no control over it whatsoever. Pip has gone from a cute little blacksmith’s boy to a “man”, if you may, that I can only think of as a Victorian-era Tom Riddle (aka Voldemort, the main antagonist of the Harry Potter series, for you muggles out there. Look up his scene with Slughorn, his professor, in The Half-Blood Prince). Yikes, right?
Estella, on the other hand, has always known riches and high status in growing up with Miss Havisham. She has always been arrogant, and since her time in France, “she was so much changed, was so much more beautiful, so much more womanly, in all things winning admiration had made such wonderful advance” (Dickens 226). Pip sees her as “perfection”, even though she is cold and rejecting of his affections. Even though the two grew up in almost opposite conditions, they both grew in the wrong directions once they started. Pip, in his arrogance, and Estella, in her cold, calculating nature. And I say “wrong directions” because I believe both are ultimately good at heart; maybe we’ll see that side of them more in the third stage of Pip’s expectations.

Free Week – Piano

An interesting fact you may not know about me is that I play the piano. I guess it makes sense; I am a setter after all and use my fingers in that aspect of my life as well, so there is a connection there… but that’s besides the point 🙂

I’ve been around a piano for as long as I can remember. At my house, we have an old piano passed down to my mother from her grandparents (at least I think it was her grandparents, I don’t know for sure) and I remember as a kid always trying to play the songs I knew by ear. My favorite was always “Joy to the World”. So even though I didn’t have any formal experience with the instrument, I loved having the ability to recreate the music that I knew.

When I was about nine years old, my sister Claire started seeing a piano teacher formally. Linda, the teacher, came every week and taught Claire on our own piano at home. I was always interested by these lessons, but I didn’t really see a future in the instrument for myself. As the years passed, I began to want to be able to play like Claire did, so fluidly and easily. I wanted to be able to play songs that everyone knew and that I loved as well.

Fortunately for me, Claire, after four years of dedication to lessons, practicing, and recitals, decided that she was “burnt out” of piano. She wanted to pursue acting, singing, and sports, which took the priority over piano lessons. I took this opportunity to start lessons of my own with the same teacher – the progress was slow, but I was finally getting somewhere with my dream of playing piano.

I guess you’re wondering why I’m even talking about this at all. I mean, doesn’t it seem kind of random? But it’s not. Today is the 3rd “anniversary” of my first piano lesson with my dear teacher Linda. I think it’s kind of silly that we even acknowledge that kind of “holiday” but it makes me happy to think of how far I’ve come since I started playing. Also, I think we need more holidays in the world, don’t you? Anyway, until next week 🙂

What is Real Love?/Do Pip and Estella Have Real Love?

In Dickens’ Great Expectations, the abandoned bride Miss Havisham defines real love as “blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter—as I did!” (Dickens 231). Dictionary.com, on the other hand, defines love as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person,” or, “a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend” (dictionary.com). The Ancient Greeks had varying definitions of love, such as eros (sexual passion), philia (sacrificial love), and agape (selfless love). Still others say that to put a definition on love is to strip love of its purity and variability. So what is real love?

I believe that real love is a combination of these examples, and more. In love, each person gives themselves wholly to the other person; this references Miss Havisham’s belief of crucial “utter submission” (Dickens 231). But that definition is limited to just romantic love. There is the love we feel for the people we’d sacrifice everything for: brothers on the battlefield, or friends in need. There’s the love for our family; we didn’t get to choose them, but we grew up with them and that connection is everlasting. There’s the love of oneself, love of the world around us, even love of activities or hobbies. The range of love one can feel is so great that I believe we can’t put a definition on “real love”. We can, however, describe it.

The Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). This roundabout definition encompasses, at least in my opinion, all that love is to the world. At least in Christian belief, love is eternal; love never fails. In this passage, all of the forms of love I described above can be found. You can love your friends, your family, your spouse, yourself, and the world by being patient, kind, loyal, humble, truthful, hopeful, and brave for their sake. But what does this have to do with Pip and his longing for Estella in Great Expectations?

Thus far, Pip believes that he is deeply in love with the beautiful Estella; however, he is mostly in love with her riches, her beauty, and her “perfection”. This could be identified as love; he is patient with her, he is kind; he is mostly humble and truthful and hopeful. He is not, however, grateful, but is envious of Estella’s position. But does Estella love Pip back? Yes, she is patient and truthful with him; but she lacks kindness, humility, gratitude, hope, perseverance, and trust. Honestly, I think Pip is going to find himself very unhappy should he find himself married to Estella, because she does not hold up her end of love’s requirements (which is the reason why Miss Havisham was left heartbroken, wink wink).

Resolutions

I considered writing a post about how resolutions should not be made only in the new year, but, as I made a few resolutions of my own, I figured that would be hypocritical…

The beginning of high school has brought many changes in my life. It has brought on much more schoolwork, thoughts about my future, and a different outlook on my social life. Now that I’ve been through one semester (of eight; I know it doesn’t seem like a lot) of high school, I’ve realized that I really need to not procrastinate. Most of the stress I experienced over the last few months would not have been so great if not for procrastination. This semester, it is my goal to not procrastinate, for the sake of having less stress.

My other resolution focuses on volleyball. In early March, there is a huge qualifier tournament in downtown Denver. This basically means that the winner in each division earns a “bid”, or an invitation, to nationals. Last year I loved this tournament and it was so much fun with my team. We placed 41st out of some 120 teams. My goal this year is not to win – that would be great, but there’s hundreds of teams playing – but to play my heart out and to arrive fully prepared and confident. This will take some hard work as I am still recovering from a grade-III ankle sprain, and am not even able to run or jump at practice yet. I’ll get there… it’ll just take a lot of determination and daily work to strengthen my ankle.

So even though I believe we should be constantly bettering ourselves no matter what time of year, these are my resolutions for this new year. And I’m doing great – I did this blog on Saturday, not Sunday night at 11! Look at me go! 🙂